


The right answer

by Criscpi



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:47:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25868413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Criscpi/pseuds/Criscpi
Summary: Hey!!!Just a story that came out of my mind.. let me if I have to develop it!!!Thank you in advance for your kindnessStay safe, healthy and happy!
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!!!  
> Just a story that came out of my mind.. let me if I have to develop it!!!  
> Thank you in advance for your kindness  
> Stay safe, healthy and happy!

"Come On, Robbe... "  
"Noor but why? "  
"Because I'm bored and I like you"  
"And you want to ruin our friendship for that?"  
"We're not ruining it! We're having a little fun, no thoughts."  
"You're drunk..."  
"Stop and let's go."

Noor takes Robbe's hand and asks the man at the counter if they can go into the hall behind the pub:  
"Noor there is no problem, but know that someone is already there."  
says the owner without giving the them too much attention; he has known them since they came in to drink a glass of Coke and then run home straight away as if they had done something forbidden. They grew up in that club and often allowed them to sit in the semi-empty back room.

The two guys walk into the hall and Noor throws the leather jacket on the floor.  
Kiss Robbe too hot and kneel to untie the boy's pants.

Robbe doesn't prove anything. He loves Noor but the person he wants to do these things with doesn't calculate him.  
He doesn't calculate anyone to tell the truth. 

Sander is a beautiful lone wolf and Robbe can only dream about him: he's always had a crush on him. he's stopped counting the months. But honestly, what he'd like the most in the world was to have at least the chance to talk to him. At least say hello to him.

"Noor... please... not like that. You know..."  
"What do you like the boys? A particular blonde? Someone who doesn't give a shit about anyone? I know Robbe. But I want to try to be with you, let me try, maybe I'll make you forget..."

Noor on her knees is ready to use every possible means to change Robbe's mind, but she can't:  
she gets up and suddenly she puts her hands on her mouth and runs in the bathroom.  
Robbe settles and tries to reach her in the bathroom: 

"Leave her alone. When she gets better, she'll feel a little guilty about you..."

Robbe forgot someone was there.  
He suddenly realized that a shape was pointing towards his face by the window.

"Sorry, we didn't want to bother you. do we know each other?"  
The shape of the line and Robbe's heart stop.  
Sander?  
Sander.  
The Sander of his dreams. 

"I think you know exactly who I am."  
"Sander..."  
"That's right, Robin... now, what do you want to do?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"You're lucid, aren't you? Only your friend was drunk, right?"  
"That's right. I'm a boring guy who can't stand losing control."  
Sander's close. Too close and damn beautiful.  
"Are you sure? Losing control isn't so terrible... do you want to try?"

Could Robbe say no to Sander? He had the opportunity to spend minutes with the most handsome man the universe had placed on Earth...  
"Of course I do, but..."  
"But?"  
Sander puts a finger on his throat:  
"but?"  
Robbe can barely swallow:  
"Noor?"  
Sander takes him by the shirt and takes him to the bathroom door: Noor sleeps lying on the floor; Sander puts her leather jacket on her shoulders.

"Your friend will be Ko until tomorrow morning... so what do you want to do... Robin...shall we run a test on losing control?"  
Sander is not waiting for a reply: They come out of the hall, and then he nods to one of the boys who are preparing cocktails: He takes a bunch of keys from his pocket and throws it to Sander. 

The boy opens a door and the two start climbing stairs.  
Robbe follows: he doesn't even want to ask how or why: he's with Sander.  
The evening could only be perfect.

They arrive on the roof of the building: a storage space was in the center of the roof.

"Here we go. On top of the city."  
"Wow." Robbe is enchanted.  
Sander looks at him as if he were trying to memorize every inch of that face.  
"What time do you have to be home Cinderella?"

He doesn't know how or why those words came out, but Robbe turns a bit annoyed and responds in a tone:

"If you haven't noticed, I'm not a kid... I live alone, I'm finishing college and I work to keep my freedom."

Sander smiles. He knew that behind that condescending look hid a great temper.  
"So we can spend the night here... what do you say?"

Robbe couldn't believe it: maybe that was him lying on the floor drunk and that was a hallucination due to alcohol.

"I have nothing else to do... and I have to wait for Noor to recover. Can I ask you a question?"

Sander nods

"Why?"  
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand."  
"Why this? Why me? Why are we  
on the roof?"

Sander sits on the floor, legs crossed like Indians.  
"Actually these would be 3 questions, but tonight I'm nice and I'll answer all 3. But first sit here next to me."

They are close again: the knees touch each other. 

"We're on the roof because nobody comes here. Never. And they're wrong because from here you can see the sun rising over the city and I find it... cathartic.  
Because this: because staying over a sleeping girl I don't think was part of your plans for the evening and also because I would like you to tell me something: and this is where the third question comes in and I will answer it only after you answer one of mine".

"Shoot"  
By now Robbe felt that shyness was flying away without him even choosing to.

“When Noor tried to... Touch you... Who was he talking about? Who's your crush, Mr Robin?"

Now he was in trouble, serious trouble. Lying or telling the truth? What would the price be?

"I don't think you know him..."

Sander approaches the point where he drops Robbe with his back against the floor.  
Once the boy is completely on top of him he says:

"You're a disaster as an actor. Say it."

"Why?"

"You think I haven't noticed? I'm quiet and elusive, not stupid."

"So if you know what this is, what is this: a game? Do you want to do what?"

"Robbe, say it. I still have to answer the third question. Say it."

It was the first time he called him Robbe; a thrill of pleasure went down his spine.  
He clung to his white polo collar, as if he had to shout the worst things in his face:

"I have a bloody crush on you. Always have. Are you happy?"  
"Ask me the question again now."  
"You're impossible."  
"I know"  
"Okay. Why me?"

Sander kisses him. A kiss on the lips. Delicate.  
Robbe never imagined that a boy  
so dark and elusive was capable of such a delicate and affectionate gesture

"Because I have a colossal crush on you. Always have."

"That's not true... you... what?"  
Robbe couldn't believe it. It was definitely a plan to get something and maybe throw him off the roof. Robbe lets go of the grip on his shirt:  
"Sander, believe me, if you're joking, I don't deserve to suffer."  
"You don't believe me?"

"I'd like to do that... you don't know how much I'd like...But you haven't given me much room to even imagine it..."

Sander rests his head on Robbe's sternum.  
"I didn't give you any clues because I'm not a respectable person..."  
"Sander..."  
"Let me finish or I'll never be able to tell you again.  
I was a tough kid in a tough family. Not sad, difficult, not poor, difficult.  
I've often gotten into trouble... serious trouble. I took life too superficially. Everything was due to me.  
But I was wrong.  
I knew you liked me, but I didn't want you to see me get into trouble again.  
I waited until I felt that life was really giving me another chance and that I was giving it to its. Then I studied you to see if I could really enter in your life without upsetting you.  
I saw you come in with Noor and I wanted to take you away right away but... damn it, it was never the time. So I left: I had to get out, get some air, think.. and not seeing you would help me do all this..  
And then... you came into my hiding place and I knew it was time."

Robbe had listened attentively to everything as one of his favourite lectures at university: he didn't need to process, he didn't need other words.  
He took Sander's face in his hands and kissed him.  
The kiss is sweet, soft, always delicate but firm. 

Sander looks at him incredulously:  
"Don't you want to know what I did?"  
"Sander. Until 30 minutes ago I only dreamed of being able to say hello. We've taken a big step forward. Of course I want to know. But not now."  
Sander returns confident and like a cat rubs himself on Robbe's body.  
"What do you want to do then?"

Robbe puts his hands under Sander's shirt and caresses the skin of that boy who until just before had the texture of a dream:  
Every part of his body would want to go further... if only for one night he would want it to be a night full of kisses, sweat, sensations.  
But no.  
He had to and he wanted more. Robbe deserved more. And so did Sander. Consuming everything in one night wasn't what he wanted for the two of them. He wanted more.

"I'd like to do more, much more. Of course I do. I've wanted to do it since the first time I saw the beauty you could unleash;  
but it's all right for tonight.  
Let's stay here and watch the sunrise."

"You Robin will drive me crazy to have it all about you, won't you?"  
"Maybe... but I hope it'll be worth it."  
"Now I'm going to say something that I'm going to lose some of my charm for:  
You are always worth it, believe me."

Robbe kisses him. This time without restraint, meeting Sander's tongue between his hungry lips. When he touches it for a moment he thinks he has landed in  
Heaven: He was having the best feeling ever. 

"Okay. Robbe Give me time to cool off..."  
"I can't... I can't stop doing this."  
"Robbe."  
"Sander... I changed... Hey, look!"

Dawn was finally upon us: the roofs were covered with an unreal pink. 

"Come with me"  
Sander grabs Robbe under his arm and  
He leads him to a little wall where they sit and watch the sky turn from pink to blue in a few minutes. 

"It's wonderful"  
"Yeah..."  
"I found this place by chance when I was looking for a place to be alone... it was my home for a while..."

Robbe shakes his hand. He wishes he could clear that boy's mind of the nightmares of his past. But to do that he would have to know better what happened to him, so for now he just shakes his hand.

When the sky has lost even the last shade of pink, the boys come down from the roof and walk towards Noor.  
The girl is still asleep and Robbe  
awakes her:”Noor... hey"

When she opens her eyes, Noor is confused: she can't remember exactly what happened, but she remembers very well that she had never seen those two so close.  
"What the hell happened?"  
Robbe and Sander look at each other and say nothing...  
"It's been a long night Noor, let's go drink some water and get something for the headache ok?"  
Noor nods and the two guys help her up.

"I also need a shower"  
"At home you'll do everything."  
"What about you?"  
"I'm gonna go back to my apartment and try to get some sleep."

When Noor is finally home, the two boys walk to Robbe's apartment...

"Thanks for the night."  
"Thanks for the company."

"Look who's here. You're back on the market? What about him? Your new right-hand man? You've got something  
For me?"  
The boy was older than Sander: he is well dressed but his teeth ruined and a face that spoke of a life lived to the limit.

"Leave me alone, I'm not in the business anymore and you know it."  
The boy is nervous, obviously in withdrawal.  
He grabs Sander by the shoulders and starts shaking him.  
"Give me something, or I'll..."

Robbe had never seen a scene like this before.  
And seeing Sander at a disadvantage for something he no longer wanted to do made his blood boil.

"Leave him alone. He told you he has nothing."

The boy lets go of Sander and approaches Robbe threateningly.

"Are you his gorilla? What the hell do you want?"

"I want you to leave him alone. It seems clear to me he has nothing for you."

The boy pushes him, Robbe loses his balance...  
When he gets up he wants to punch that idiot, but he doesn't make it in time for the boy to punch Sander's face and without saying a word he leaves.

Sander has a nosebleed  
"Doesn't look broken"  
"It's not, trust me, I've had it broken a couple of times already, it hurts a lot more."

"Come"  
"Robbe leave it alone"  
"You want another punch? Come on, let's at least put some ice on it."

Sander keeps a bag full of ice cubes on his nose, and he looks around:  
Robbe is a good guy: tidy, clean: his walls have dozens of books and he doesn't even have bad taste in music.

When Robbe comes back from the bathroom, Sander notices how tired Robbe is:  
He gets up and puts the bag in the sink.  
"Robbe you need to rest, I'll see you in a few days at the university ok?

"No."

That no freezes Sander's blood. Robbe had seen too much to be the first day they spoke. He couldn't blame him. If he could, he'd have run away from the mess he'd made.

"Stay."

Maybe Sander didn't understand. Maybe it was a mistake.  
"Sorry?"  
"Sander stay. I don't care what we are, what we will become, but stay.  
As long as you want. If you feel comfortable. I... I'd like you to stay... and I'm too tired to discuss it, OK?"

Where did that kid come from?  
How the hell... how the hell could he take it so unreservedly?  
In his own house, where he could have done anything to him... 

"Robbe, are you sure? Have you seen the people I've dealt with..."  
"You used the past... that's enough for me for now.  
I'll go get you something clean. The bathroom is that door over there..."

Sander obeys. No one had ever managed to change his mind. A sly smile is painted on his face... The shower relaxes him and it seems that within the walls of Robbe's house, even the last ghosts seem to be shrinking...

"Here I am clean and perfumed Robin..."

Robbe sleeps on the couch with his bathrobe still on.  
Sander takes him in his arms and lays him on the bed: he looks for something to cover him and then lies down next to him.  
"Thank you Robbe"  
And finally sleep takes care of the two boys.

Robbe wakes up. From the color of the walls, it's evening now.  
He wrinkles his eyes and turns around: waiting for him two green and bright eyes smiling at him. 

"Sander, don't you ever sleep? You look as fresh as a rose..."  
Sander still makes that wonderful gesture of putting a finger on Robbe’s neck and while he's doing it he says to him;

"It's not so easy to sleep with you practically naked next to..."  
And he kisses him on one cheek

Robbe raises his head and realises he's still in his bathrobe...  
Sander seems to understand his thoughts:  
"Don't worry, I didn't abuse you... you fell asleep on the couch and I brought you here... I deserve an award for being upstanding, don't you think?"

Robbe looks at him and thinks it's a perfect moment: He kneels down to take off his robe...  
"Sorry I don't have a packet to wrap it in..."  
Sander lures him to himself  
"I can wrap it for you, sir, if you wish..."  
"I desire it... please..."

Robbe gets rid of the useless clothes Sander still has on...  
Robbe offers his back to Sander after having studied Sander's body with his hands and mouth.

Sander caresses him, he can't stop doing it even when he is inside him and the desire to lose control and every inhibition had always been a priority.  
This time it was different: he was definitely making love.  
"Robbe... are you... God... you are... Everything is perfect..."

"Sander... give me your hands... I'm... I'm... I'm... Wait..."

Now the two boys are lying in front of each other, they keep looking at each other... neither of them had ever experienced something so intense.  
"Robin..."  
"Mmm"  
"Are you hungry?"  
"I'm more than hungry"  
"Let's go out and get something to eat, shall we?"  
"Of course”  
"Ehm Robbe... Remember when you said I could stay this morning... I'd like to stop by my place and pick up some clothes... maybe I'll stay for a few days... is that OK?"  
Robbe smiles and kisses him on the tip of his nose:  
"Let's get ready and go out."

Sander was really discovering happiness, and it was better than any drug he'd ever tried.  
They leave the house that the sun has almost set; Sander holds Robbe's hand while the boy talks to Noor on the phone:

"Noor... Yes, I'm fine... don't be sorry, nothing happened... don't worry... Sander? Well, I..."  
Robbe looks at Sander. He doesn't want him to think they're rushing things.  
"Sander approaches the receiver and  
Speak for Robbe:  
"Noor"? I'm holding your friend's hand; we're going to dinner, do you want to join us?"

All you hear is a scream from the other side: Robbe has to turn the phone away so as not to lose his hearing.  
"All right, Noor. Ok I'll tell him! See you tomorrow."

"Do you have a message for me?"  
Robbe is hesitant, he wouldn't want to ruin the boy's mood...  
"Things from Noor..."  
"Robin, tell me. I've been through worse things in my life."  
"Okay... She says you have to treat me well because I'm the most valuable thing she has... things from Noor"

"He loves you very much, doesn't he?"  
"She's the closest person to a family I have... my parents live far away and I can only hear them on Skype... She's been close to me since we met, and it's been 10 years now..."

"Tell me a little about yourself. What is your educational background?"  
"I started with psychology which has always been my first choice: now I had the chance to attend cultural anthropology courses... I'm excited about this opportunity; you know, to know the history of cultural movements, to get to the bottom of why we are so different... I'm sure it will help me in my future profession... and what about you?"

"History of Art... I would love to be a professor and tell the guys what beauty is... sometimes I stop thinking that if I had discovered the beauty in the world earlier, maybe I would have been less focused on the easy but ugly stuffs.  
Rome wasn't built in a day...  
So I'd like young people to understand this: beauty could help people to stay out of trouble."

Robbe stops and puts his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders.  
"Do you see how incredible you are? You are so full of facets."

The smile on Sander is bitter sweet...  
"Too many Robbe, too many... You'll see some after dinner and I'm afraid you won't like them at all."

"Let's go eat kaleidoscope."

They eat a pizza and share it, they drink a beer and share it... they share everything in these intense hours... every second...  
When they leave the club they go out laughing towards Sander's apartment.  
They arrive in a small, dusty street, full of holes.  
Sander opens a creaking door and Robbe finds himself catapulted into Sander's reality in a second.  
The boy lives in a hole, little more than a cell. The place is clean, but it's sterile, empty, dark... the exact opposite of what Sander always imagined: 

"I know, it looks like a cell, but believe me, I've been in prison even if only for a couple of days and this is a palace by comparison. Um... did he start taking my things ok?"

Robbe stops him. He squeezes his arm. He pulls him to himself and hugs him. He hugs him so hard he hurts himself. And he cries. He cries with sobs, as if in an instant he had swallowed up all the darkness and sadness of Sander's life.

"I'm sorry... you... don't... you... you don't deserve this... you... you don't deserve this. Okay?"

"Robbe, don't worry, everything's fine..."

"No it's not okay no no no  
No no. You take it all, everything, and you come to me and stay there, okay? I can't think about you here. No you can't, this is not a place for a creature like you."

Now it was Sander's turn to cry. He hadn't heard anyone worrying about him for years, taking care of him...  
With tears streaming down, he took everything he had and put it in a trolley and two backpacks and said goodbye to that dump.

When they get home Robbe arranged his things so that Sander had space for his.  
He rearranges the bathroom and empties two shelves where Sander can put his vinyl and books. 

"We have to get a turntable and think about changing the bed..."  
"Robbe stop, you're going a thousand miles an hour ... relax ... the record player can stay on my books and the bed is perfect ..."

Robbe takes a deep breath:  
"Sorry. I overreacted. Maybe you wanted to stay at home... I pushed you here and it seems like I'm trying to change you, but believe me, I just want you to live in a brighter place. You don't belong in the dark."

Sander caresses the boy  
"Robbe, I lived for years in the deepest darkness... I tried everything chemical that could be tried to forget the abyss I was in, and it only made things worse... I'm tired of being alone in the dark.  
But I want you to know that you're not a way out of the dark for me. You're the reason I chose to escape from the dark with all my might.  
You're my source of light. And I've had to tell you that for months. It only took me a little longer than I thought..."

"So let's do this: You'll live here no matter what happens between us... we'll split the expenses and make you feel at home. Here. Not in that dump. Is that okay with you?"

"Yes, more or less"

"Meaning?"

Sander approaches Robbe and puts his hand on his heart:  
"Exactly what do you think is between us?"  
"A nice friendship?"  
"Come on, Robin, you can do better..." Sander starts kissing his neck  
"A slight attraction?"  
Robbe loves the way Sander takes him to the edge.

"You still have two chances..."  
"What if I lose?"  
"There are penalties for losers, depending on the severity of the error... now try again..."

"Let's see... are we two special friends?"  
"Robbe, I'm starting to think you want to lose on purpose."  
Sander undoes his jeans button  
"Okay... you're... my boyfriend."  
"It's not a question this time."  
"No."  
"Robbe... games aside... are you sure?"

Robbe hooks himself into the boy's life:  
"Yes... let's take things slow from now on... but I'd say that in 48 hours we kissed, caressed, lived together... that can only be the right answer."

Sander smiles. Finally things seem to have really taken a bright road for him.  
And with him there's the reason why the shit of his past wants to leave him there, in the past, he doesn't want to keep even a crumb of it. 

He gets lost in the dark eyes of someone who in a few hours has finally saved him from the abyss and responds:  
"There is no fairer answer."


	2. Sander’s past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everybody. This has been the hardest chapter for me to write.   
> I have friends who've been through all this and it hurts me every time I think about it.  
> I thought about not correcting too much what I wrote in a hurry: the flow of words that might be likely if someone tells their story is not always linear... I hope you can understand...   
> you'll understand at the end of the chapter why it was written in the third person.   
> Thank you all   
> Stay safe, always.

Sander remembered perfectly when he began his descent into darkness: he was a child and suddenly a strange fire began to burn in his chest.  
His parents worked all day long and when they came back they were too tired or too busy doing anything else to realize that Sander only needed a few minutes more cuddling and laughter than he was getting.  
During school everything was fine at first... some teachers seemed more distracted than others, but in that case Sander waited for the break to go out and invent some new stories. He didn't have many friends but the two children he played with were fun and had the same passion as him: inventing stories and being catapulted into another dimension.

The more time passed, the more Sander was at home alone, his parents were always away... one day he found tablets on his mother's bedside table.  
Intrigued by that blister, he decided to invent a story in which to become a superhero he had to take pills:  
When he swallows one of those red balls, the fire, which had remained small and silent, began to blaze and scream. Here's the World, a world that you can change as you want: become the protagonist and have fantastic adventures.

That's how it all starts. With one piece of luggage of loneliness too heavy for an 11-year-old boy left alone since he was eight and a desire to escape that grew every day more and more.  
The transition from his mother's pills to drugs, the most dangerous drugs, comes  
at the age of 13: Sander could hardly remember the last time he was able to really talk to his parents: when they were not at work or sleeping or going out for air with friends.  
What about him? Didn't he have any rights? Only those who earned money could choose how to live his life? If this was really the way he would have found it.   
In the evening he no longer stayed at home waiting for his parents: he knew that he would only spend the weekend with them and this always lasted too short. Too bad they didn't realize that the week was made up of seven days, not just two days...

From his home the train station was not so far away and that place had always had a certain charm in the little Sander...His parents had  
forbidden to go there alone during the day: this meant that if they only knew that he was not only going alone but that he was even going at night... the idea of doing something that had a Huge impact in hit relationship with his parents, a thing so dangerous, attracted him so much...  
One evening he decided to go there for real: the station at night had a dark charm: faces never seen during the day, looks that intrigued him:  
"What are you doing here, boy? It's not a place for good blondes like you. Come home, your parents are waiting for you."  
Who was talking to him was a gentleman about the same age as his father, but definitely dirtier and smellier.   
"I don't have anyone at home waiting for me, my parents are out, so I came to watch the station. My parents always stop me."

"They're right. It's not a nice place. Now go home."  
Sander obeys but comes back to see that man almost every night: sometimes he finds him sleeping, sometimes they talk a little until that dirty but kind gentleman invites Sander to come home.  
One evening he arrives at his new friend and finds him with his eyes wide open, his drooling mouth and a noise coming from the mouth that was more sad than scary.  
A police officer arrived shortly afterwards and an ambulance took the man's body and took him away.   
Bags fall from the almost died friend's pocket: Sander picks them up before someone else does.  
When he is at home he locks himself in his room and studies the three bags: they contain a white substance, it looks like sugar... but Sander doesn't trust them...For the moment he hides them in a puppet where he once found some chocolates: for a few days he stays away from the station and tries to forget his friend's comatose face, but as soon as his parents come back with the night shifts and the night outings Sander decides to take the bags back to the station, convinced that someone can help him understand what it is about and maybe bring them back to his friend with no name: and he's in that place...  
damn day Sander turns into a drug dealer, nothing but a superhero.   
When he gets there and offers a bag  
to a guy leaning against the wall this asks him...   
"How much do you want... 50?"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Okay, I get it, smart little guy. They taught you your craft well, kid."  
When Sander is holding all that money, he doesn't take long to understand: if those bags give money, he had to find more bags.   
That's how you become free to choose your life!

Evidently not. The descent into hell was quick and painful. Sander starts using powders, pills, alcohol... anything that can intoxicate his senses, that can make him feel the protagonist of a story.   
It's too late when he realizes that he's ended up in an abyss and too proud to ask for help... at the age of 18 he decides to go live alone hoping to make it, but he doesn't and ends up in that cell that has been his home ever since.  
His parents look at him worried, talk to him, apologize, but despite the hugs and promises he knows he won't stop: The moments where he finds himself not thinking clearly are the moments when he feels most alive.   
When he graduates a year late, he is not happy to leave the only real safe haven full of people who have ever made him feel good.  
That night in his apartment he needs to celebrate: he gets drunk, takes something he has in the house to sell and steals a car: he takes happiness high a prey to hallucinations and brakes his running on a concrete pole of high tension.

Sander finds himself doing a few days in prison that do not become more just because his reputation is destroyed long ago, but his record is still clean. 

He tries to stay sober for a few days, even if the fire calls him, all the time.  
He goes to college. He wants to try. Art history has always been his choice. 

While he looks at all the material that the secretary with the black helmet and the red and thin glasses offers him at the end of the enrollment, Sander gets stuck:  
A boy with dark, wavy hair, smiling eyes, dimples in the corners of his mouth...  
The best hallucination ever.   
In the following days they meet in the yard often... Sander notices that boy looking at him... not because he knows him, he's not the kind of guy who hangs around the station at night...   
He looks at him with interest.

Every now and then, glances meet and a wave of peace and love hits him, suffocating the damn fire.

Sander is tempted from the first day to embrace him and hold his hand forever, but this is impossible if he does not clean himself first. Blood, mind and soul.  
Getting out of that circle is harder than getting out of his addictions.  
It takes days and beatings and hospital admissions with broken bones to get out of it.  
But Sander finally has a purpose.   
And he succeeds.

He follows a psychologist to heal his attraction to drugs and alcohol... 

And when after months he feels clean enough to study the boy, to know his tastes, to know what clubs he frequented... and to know if those looks were curiosity or something else.

"They were something else..."

Sander smiles.

"Here's the story, Robbe."

Robbe continued to caress him as he listened to Sander's past...  
You didn't want to comment, how could you comment on a descent into hell?  
"Do you want to know why I told it in the third person?"  
Robbe nods  
"Because I don't want it to remain part of my story. That's another Sander. It's not me anymore... Did you see what you did?"

Robbe holds it tight   
"Honey, you did it all. You're the one who had the strength to do it all... alone... I'm proud of you in a way I can't describe..."

Robbe Knows he has to ask him some questions:

"Sander... did you ever see the man from the station again?"  
"I came back several times around sunset and asked around, but no one knew what happened to him... I don't know if he's alive or dead... he'll remain a nameless ghost in a nameless world full of endless sadness..."

"Can I ask you one last thing?"  
"Sure, go ahead."  
"How are things with your parents?"

Sander remains silent for a few minutes  
"It’s fine... but I'm having a hard time forgiving them for leaving me alone in life's most delicate moment. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame them for my past, I could have made my loneliness much more productive, but I blame them for leaving me alone without thinking that I might have suffered. So it's okay: I see them often, we talk much more... but there's still some way to go... one day I'll introduce you to him... they know I lost my head over a guy in college, it'll be so much fun to see their faces when they see you... I don't think they expect me to finally have you all to myself.

Kisses. Kisses and more kisses.   
The worst part of his life is finally over.

"Coming back to us, I wasn't alone after all... you were already with me... now my greatest fear is that the fire will return...  
Sooner or later..."

Robbe does what Sander has always done with him: he puts a finger on the boy's neck and he says:   
"You know something Sander Driesen?  
If the fire comes back, we'll drown him together. You won't do it all by yourself anymore. Now I'm with you."

"You're my family now?”

"I am your family, and everything you think makes you feel happy."

Here's the beauty from life:  
Sander found it in a boy with smiling eyes, curly hair and a smile...  
A honest smile.


End file.
